This is a non-commercial fanfic based on the universes of The Witcher and Disco Elysium. All rights to the original works, characters, names, and elements of their respective worlds belong to their respective copyright holders. The author of this fanfic does not claim ownership of any of them. Age rating: rated R (18+). The text contains profanity, alcohol, fictional drugs, violence, and other themes intended for an adult audience.
“A true friend is, as it were, a second self.”
— Marcus Tullius Cicero, On Friendship
NARRATOR – You wake around noon, somehow manage to get dressed, and head down to the common room. It’s a little livelier than usual today: guests sit drinking coffee at the tables, carters argue by the bar, and someone in the far corner is already taking a pull from a mug.
VICE [Easy: Failure] – Sounds like our cue…
KEEN EYE [Medium: Success] – Not now. I’ve spotted something…
NARRATOR – Your gaze almost immediately settles on a striking pair at the nearest table. The man looks about forty. His hair is cut short, his face clean-shaven, and his clothes make no attempt at elegance: a worn leather jacket, dark trousers, high boots. His unusual orange eyes are keen and wary, while his narrow, slightly hooked nose gives his face a dangerous look.
BOND OF STEEL [Medium: Success] – No weapon in sight. But he doesn’t look unarmed.
DISCERNMENT [Easy: Success] – This man was watching you before you ever noticed him. And now he’s making a careful show of pretending otherwise.
NARRATOR – His companion looks considerably younger. Her red hair is gathered at the back of her head, with a few unruly strands framing a beautiful face with soft features and a scattering of freckles. A high-necked green dress flatters her slender figure without looking provocative. Unlike the man, she watches you not with amusement, but with poorly concealed concern.
UMBRA [Challenging: Failure] – I wonder who they are?
NARRATOR – You give Vernon a quick wave; he is already waiting by the exit. But instead of heading straight over, you walk up to the pair’s table. The stranger gives you an appraising look, folds his arms across his chest, and says quietly:
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – You look like shit.
YOU – I know. That’s the whole point.
NARRATOR – He raises an eyebrow in surprise and gives a short grunt.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Well? What do you want?
WHISPER [Medium: Success] – Something isn’t right here. Better find out who he is.
YOU – I wanted to ask… What’s your name? Have we met before?
NARRATOR – The smirk slowly fades from his face.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Very funny.
YOU – I’m not joking.
NARRATOR – The red-haired pani flinches and looks away. Her fingers clench around the teacup.
WOMAN IN THE GREEN DRESS – Oh gods, this is awful…
NARRATOR – The stranger cuts her off sharply.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – What’s it to you? Let’s say we don’t know each other. What then? You gonna keep standing there like a fucking post?
NARRATOR – You stand there like a post.
STEADINESS [Easy: Success] – Excellent work. Right now, you’re doing a remarkably convincing impression of a man who has absolutely nothing to say.
ARTISTRY [Medium: Success] – Hey… don’t the eyes of this rude bastard remind you of your own? Not just the color — they have the same predatory, inhuman glint.
BOND OF STEEL [Challenging: Failure] – Maybe he has some connection to you. You might have served together once. Or worked the same trade. Find out.
YOU – Um… I still have a feeling we might have worked together once. A long time ago.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Really?.. No, can’t say I remember that. Why would we have?
NARRATOR – The red-haired woman turns to her companion reproachfully.
WOMAN IN THE GREEN DRESS – Lambert, please, stop… It’s much worse than I thought.
REFLEX [Challenging: Failure] – What exactly is worse?
MASQUE [Impossible: Failure] – Maestro, perhaps you remember him from your days on the stage? You were a dazzling vedette, while this man invariably played the villain — jealous, treacherous, and thoroughly despised by the audience.
YOU – Did we ever perform on stage together?
NARRATOR – He gives a dry laugh. It sounds more like a dog barking.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Thankfully, the gods spared me that fate. But I heard about what happened in Novigrad. They say the audience was in tears.
MASQUE – You see, maestro! Your fame still lives on in the hearts of your audience. You were a great actor!
ELOQUENCE [Trivial: Success] – That wasn’t a compliment. He means they were crying in horror.
CODEX [Easy: Success] – Actually, judging by those orange eyes, this stranger could very well be a witcher. Just like you.
YOU – Sorry, but… are you a witcher?
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Oh, now you’re getting warmer! Yes, that’s certainly a possibility.
YOU – Great. I’m a witcher too.
NARRATOR – The stranger responds with a slow, profoundly meaningful nod.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – What a surprise.
WHISPER [Challenging: Failure] – Looks like you’ve said something stupid again.
YOU – What about her? Is she a witcheress too?
NARRATOR – The red-haired pani turns away, pretending to watch a peddler passing by the window.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Listen, just leave her out of this, all right?! What else do you want?
YOU – Nothing… I just thought I was the only witcher left in the whole world. And now suddenly I’ve met another one. Which school are you from?
NARRATOR – The woman lets out a loud sigh and covers her face with one hand.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Hmm. What do you think? Which school would suit me?
KEEN EYE [Challenging: Failure] – Well, considering that hooked nose of his…
ARTISTRY [Easy: Success] – Not merely hooked. Predatory. This is extremely important.
YOU – The School of the Predatory Eagle Swooping Down from the Heavens Upon Its Prey?
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Exactly! Astonishing. How did you ever guess?
DIALECTIC [Trivial: Failure] – You’re pretty sharp yourself! Anyone can see it: this guy’s got brains.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Our headquarters is in the old fortress of Kaer Morhen. Ever heard of it?
CODEX [Challenging: Failure] – Doesn’t ring a bell. Maybe he just made the name up?
YOU – Honestly, no. I’m from the School of the Wolf myself… Who else lives in that fortress?
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – You wouldn’t believe it…
NARRATOR – A theatrical pause follows.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – There are… witchers living there! And you know what?
WHISPER [Trivial: Failure] – Don’t ask “what.”
YOU – What?
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – They don’t get drunk first thing in the morning like washed-up bards, and they don’t sit around whining about their lives. They just get on with the job. Hard to imagine, isn’t it?
YOU – Yes, quite… By the way, my friend Vernon and I — he’s the one standing over there by the entrance — are investigating an important matter on His Majesty’s orders.
NARRATOR – The man lazily shifts his gaze toward Vernon and puts on an exaggerated look of surprise.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Well, aren’t you important! Rubbing shoulders with the commander of the Blue Stripes — and even the king himself? I’m positively green with envy. So, how’s the investigation going? Found out anything interesting?
YOU – It looks like the victim was actually shot. The hanging was just a smokescreen.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Incredible! Any other breakthroughs? Suspects, evidence, a possible motive? Maybe you’ve even managed to identify the killer?
YOU – Mm, no… I’m afraid that’s about as far as we’ve gotten.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – Yeah. I can tell.
BOND OF STEEL [Medium: Failure] – Interesting. Why did you decide to share the details of the investigation with him, of all people?
YOU – Wait… why am I even telling you all this?..
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – No idea. I’m just a man with orange eyes, after all.
NARRATOR – For several seconds, you stare at him in confusion, trying to find some hidden meaning in those words. You fail.
YOU – Fair enough… All right, thanks for the conversation. I should go before Vernon gets annoyed.
MAN WITH ORANGE EYES – No problem. See you around.
NARRATOR – The woman shakes her head in dismay. Completely baffled, you step away from the table and leave the tavern with Vernon. He gives the pair a brief glance, but says nothing.
UMBRA [Challenging: Failure] – Another very strange conversation. First that dwarf with the parrot, now these two… What’s going on? Why do strangers in Vizima keep talking as though they know something important about you?
NARRATOR – The city greets you with its now-familiar rain. At a table beneath the awning by the entrance, you spot Rosie again, reading the same book as before. A cup of coffee steams in front of her, and beside it lies a small letter opener — one that looks considerably sharper than anything required for dealing with literature.
KEEN EYE [Easy: Success] – A narrow blade, a comfortable grip, a flawless edge. That knife could cut more than just paper.
NARRATOR – The gnome gives the two of you a quick glance.
ROSIE – Hey, hey! How’s it going? Still got your heads? That’s already something.
YOU – Hi, Rosie… Um… Thanks for calming Grave down yesterday.
NARRATOR – She merely waves it off.
ROSIE – Don’t mention it. He’s hot-tempered, but he cools off quickly… The trick is not to stand too close while he’s doing it.
WHISPER [Easy: Success] – Maybe you should ask her about the murder?
NARRATOR – Rosie smirks. Her smile is cheerful, but her eyes remain very attentive.
ROSIE – Just don’t go imagining we’re bosom buddies now and I’m going to spill everything. We can talk about the weather, gardening, poetry, why humans have such absurdly long legs… But not about your Lavelle. Though come to think of it, I don’t have much to say about gardening either. I grew up in the city.
WHISPER – Shame. I meant Bastien, not the gardening.
YOU – Not even if it helps us identify the killer?
NARRATOR – The gnome gives an unruffled nod.
ROSIE – Yep. Grave explained everything pretty clearly yesterday, and I don’t much feel like getting any dirtier in this whole mess. I’m wearing a clean shirt today, you see.
NARRATOR – She coquettishly smooths down her short blue blouse with its embroidered collar and tightly laced sleeves.
ARTISTRY [Easy: Success] – It really is clean. And pretty.
YOU – I have to say, you really do look great. I like it.
ROSIE – Oh? Well, I’ll take the compliment. Unfortunately, until the investigation is over, it’s strictly business between us. You know… horribly proper and boring.
NARRATOR – She pauses briefly.
ROSIE – After that… we’ll see.
FORTITUDE [Challenging: Failure] – The look she gives you sends a shiver down your spine.
VICE [Easy: Success] – Now you’ve got a real reason to solve this case as quickly as possible.
VERNON ROCHE – Forgive me, but we don’t have time to discuss fashion or gardening right now. Come along, Geralt. I’m sure Captain Meis is waiting for us rather impatiently.
ROSIE – Sure. Give him my warmest regards.
NARRATOR – The gnome turns her full attention back to the book, making it perfectly clear that the conversation is over.