This is a non-commercial fanfic based on the universes of The Witcher and Disco Elysium. All rights to the original works, characters, names, and elements of their respective worlds belong to their respective copyright holders. The author of this fanfic does not claim ownership of any of them. Age rating: rated R (18+). The text contains profanity, alcohol, fictional drugs, violence, and other themes intended for an adult audience.
“The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.”
— Anatole France, The Red Lily
NARRATOR – About ten minutes later, you reach the Temple Quarter barracks. The building greets you with the smell of sour cabbage and unwashed footcloths. In front of the massive oak door leading to the captain’s office stands a lone fair-haired soldier with a halberd. He sways slightly, like a sailor who’s just come ashore after a long voyage. His lips are stretched into an idiotic grin for no apparent reason, and his eyes are gleaming. The soldier lets out a foolish giggle, clearly unaware of your presence.
VICE [Easy: Success] – O-o-oh, would you look at that! Seems this fine fellow has had a little too much of the good old fisstech! It’s a wonder he can still stand. Come to think of it, you could use a pinch or two yourself. Clear your head a little!
NARRATOR – The chain around your neck suddenly grows very hot. For a moment, it feels as though it might burn straight through your shirt.
HORRIFIC MEDALLION – Exactly, kumpel! The world is providing solutions to your problems! You haven’t been yourself all morning. We need to get a dose URGENTLY. It’ll help you witcher better.
VICE – It’s for the investigation.
BRAWN [Easy: Success] – For confidence. For brutality.
CODEX [Medium: Success] – Fisstech is a potent narcotic in the form of a white powder. In small doses, it causes euphoria, a surge of energy, and a false sense of control. As for what happens in an overdose, you have a convenient demonstration right in front of you: tremors, dizziness, involuntary spasms, sudden mood swings, hallucinations… and various other unpleasant symptoms. Not to mention addiction.
NARRATOR – The soldier giggles at nothing, rolling his eyes strangely and blinking rapidly. It is not a pleasant sight.
FORTITUDE [Challenging: Failure] – Drugs are the last thing you need right now.
HORRIFIC MEDALLION – No, it’s the VERY FIRST thing you need! The most essential thing! That useless bastard must have some powder left. Ask him. If you have to, threaten him, intimidate him — SMEAR HIM ACROSS THE WALL, for fuck’s sake!!! We need that goddamn fisstech!
NARRATOR – Meanwhile, Vernon walks right up to the guard and fixes him with a murderous stare. Any normal soldier under that gaze would have remembered the rules of guard duty, the entire military code, and probably his own mother besides. This particular specimen, however, floating in blissful harmony with the universe, merely gives Roche the all-understanding smile of an idiot.
VERNON ROCHE – Private!
NARRATOR – No response. The soldier is in no condition for guard duty today.
VERNON ROCHE – Private, I’m talking to you!
NARRATOR – The guard slowly begins to list to the left, while his halberd tilts to the right. Compositionally, the two form the letter V.
VERNON ROCHE – ATTENTION, damn you!!! Why are you standing guard in this condition?! Identify yourself at once!
NARRATOR – The young soldier suddenly jerks his legs like a skittish horse, nearly dropping his weapon in the process. Even in his present state, he recognizes Vernon.
CODEX [Easy: Success] – Hardly surprising. Roche is a hero of Temeria, beloved by the people.
JETHRO – P-Private Jethro, pan! Took up my post at eight this morning. No incidents to report since then. I’m in perfectly normal condition, guarding pan Vincent’s office!
NARRATOR – He struggles to focus on Vernon and attempts to salute. It goes badly: his hand first wanders somewhere toward his neck, then pokes himself in the cheek, before dropping limply to his side.
VERNON ROCHE – “Normal”?!
JETHRO – Yes, pan!
NARRATOR – Jethro’s right eye, still twitching rhythmically, remains fixed on Vernon. The left suddenly drifts off to the side and locks directly onto you.
BOND OF STEEL [Easy: Success] – Even in this state, he instinctively twists and wriggles his way out of trouble. It’s simply in his nature. Deny the offense to a superior officer to the bitter end. That wild little hope shared by soldiers of every age keeps whispering that somehow, just maybe, he might still get away with it.
VERNON ROCHE – Thank the gods I don’t have time to deal with you right now, or I’d give you a week in the guardhouse for this kind of nonsense!
NARRATOR – Jethro spreads his hands apologetically, still grimacing and swaying.
JETHRO – Thank the gods, pan!
VERNON ROCHE – SILENCE!!!
JETHRO – Yes, pan!
VICE – Come on, come on. This is your moment!
NARRATOR – The chain holding the medallion starts tightening around your neck again.
HORRIFIC MEDALLION – Let’s try the gentle approach. Friendly-like. He’ll understand. Soldiers like this are usually very understanding.
FORTITUDE [Challenging: Failure] – Don’t. This is a terrible idea.
VICE – All the best stories start with terrible ideas.
NARRATOR – The words slip out on their own, as though someone else were speaking through you.
YOU – Sorry, Jethro…
NARRATOR – Vernon, who had nearly forgotten you existed, slowly turns his head.
YOU – …Any chance you could spare me a little fisstech, friend to friend? Or maybe tell me where I could get some?
NARRATOR – Silence falls. You can hear rainwater dripping from the roof. The guard even stops smiling, but doesn’t get a chance to answer.
VERNON ROCHE – You…
NARRATOR – Now he looks genuinely frightening.
VERNON ROCHE – Have you lost your mind?! What in the gods’ names are you saying? You’re seriously asking a soldier of the royal army, while he’s on duty, to tell you where to obtain an illegal narcotic? And you have the gall to do it right in front of me?
YOU – Well… it didn’t sound very good when I said it out loud…
NARRATOR – He takes half a step toward you.
VERNON ROCHE – It sounded exactly the way it sounded. For your information, witcher, this is a criminal offense. I could arrest you right now and have you locked away for five years.
VICE – Oops. Little mistake there.
VERNON ROCHE – Listen carefully. I am not your commander. You are not my subordinate. And, thank the gods, I am not your father.
FORTITUDE [Easy: Success] – Pity. At moments like this, a little genuine fatherly discipline is exactly what you need.
VERNON ROCHE – If you want to drink yourself senseless or snort fisstech with Private Jethro, that’s your business.
YOU – Vernon, I’m sorry…
NARRATOR – He lowers his voice and speaks very distinctly.
VERNON ROCHE – But don’t you dare do either while we’re conducting this investigation, and certainly not in my presence. I believe I made it perfectly clear that our position here is difficult enough already. There is no need to make it any worse.
VICE – Oh, we’ll come back to the powder later!
FORTITUDE – No. We will not be coming back to the powder. That matter is closed. Permanently.
NARRATOR – Vernon turns back to the soldier, who is now staring at the commander of the Blue Stripes like a cornered animal.
DISCERNMENT [Challenging: Success] – You hear Jethro’s stomach begin to growl loudly.
VERNON ROCHE – Well, what are you gawking at me for? Move it, open the door. We have important business with the captain of the guard, and no time to stand around here dealing with you.
NARRATOR – Jethro nods hastily, but can’t seem to work out which hand should grab the door handle and which should hold the halberd.
VERNON ROCHE – What are you fumbling with now?!
NARRATOR – The unfortunate guard somehow pins the halberd under one elbow, smacks himself in the forehead with the haft, and pulls the door open with both hands.
VERNON ROCHE – And get yourself into some kind of fit state for duty! If I ever see you on duty like this again, I promise you’ll regret it dearly. And just what Captain Meis is doing while all this goes on, I’d very much like to know!
NARRATOR – The door finally swings open, and you step into a room that is unexpectedly cozy. It smells of wax, dry paper, tobacco, and something meaty — perhaps yesterday’s dinner. A fire crackles cheerfully in the hearth to the left. On the right hangs a detailed map of Vizima and the surrounding area. Directly opposite the entrance stands a wooden desk, behind which sits a slightly heavyset man of about forty-five. His hair is cut short, though the dark strands still insist on curling like the fleece of a young ram. His face is flat, almost ordinary-looking. But his intelligent eyes watch you with calm attention. For some reason, that gaze makes you uneasy, and your hand begins to drift behind your back of its own accord.
UMBRA [Challenging: Failure] – Can you feel it?.. Something is wrong here.
DIALECTIC [Easy: Success] – A remarkably informative observation.
YOU – No. What am I supposed to feel?
REFLEX [Easy: Success] – The medallion is vibrating. But not the way it did before; this is different. Predatory. Like an untamed hound that has caught the scent of its prey.
YOU – What prey?
REFLEX – Unknown.
NARRATOR – The medallion is still twitching insistently.
REFLEX – Just stay alert.
NARRATOR – Meanwhile, the captain of the guard rises leisurely from behind his desk. You can’t help noticing that he’s rather short; beside him, Vernon looks like a giant.
BRAWN [Medium: Success] – But he’s broad-shouldered, stocky, and built like a dwarf. Heavy fists, too. Don’t underestimate him.
VINCENT MEIS – Good day, panowie.
NARRATOR – His voice is low and fairly pleasant. Even so, you feel no warmth toward the man whatsoever. There is something about him — something hard to define — that you instinctively find repellent.
VINCENT MEIS – Well, I certainly never expected to see Vernon Roche himself in my humble office!
NARRATOR – He gives your companion a sly, almost friendly smile. Almost.
VINCENT MEIS – Quite a dressing-down you gave poor Jethro. My compliments! Rest assured, the captain — yours truly — keeps a very close eye on things.
NARRATOR – He takes his time walking around the desk and comes to a stop in front of you.
VINCENT MEIS – Private Jethro is, of course, a drunk, a drug addict, and, to put it plainly, a rare bastard.
NARRATOR – He says it in the tone of a man praising his favorite son. With tenderness and a trace of hidden pride.
VINCENT MEIS – But he knows his job. More importantly, he follows orders without hesitation and without asking questions.
SENSIBILITY [Medium: Success] – He speaks of his subordinate as though Jethro were a useful tool, suited to certain kinds of work. Delicate work, most likely.
NARRATOR – Your companion stands like a statue, still saying nothing. It’s impossible to tell whether he’s even listening to the portly captain’s little speech.
VINCENT MEIS – A man like that always comes in handy, you know… But Jethro will, of course, be punished for his misconduct.
NARRATOR – The captain extends a broad hand to Vernon and smiles again.
VINCENT MEIS – Vincent Meis, captain of the Temple Quarter guard. Though, of course, you already know that.
VERNON ROCHE – Vernon Roche, commander of the Blue Stripes. Though, of course, you already know that as well.
NARRATOR – Roche returns the handshake with a curt, almost excessively sharp grip. Vincent’s smile grows wider. But not warmer.
SENSIBILITY [Challenging: Success] – They’re like two dogs meeting in the street. Sniffing each other out, neither quite sure yet whether it’s time to growl.
NARRATOR – Then he offers you his broad paw.
YOU – Ahem… Sir Andrzej Ambroise de Beaupré.
NARRATOR – The captain of the guard doesn’t so much as raise an eyebrow.
BRAWN [Challenging: Success] – Strong handshake. There’s the strength of a simple man of the soil in it; I’d wager he grew up in a peasant family. Men like that don’t fence elegantly or shoot a bow with perfect aim. No, this one just grabs you by the front of your shirt and throws you into a wall, or breaks your nose with his knee. Very unknightly… Very effective, though.
BOND OF STEEL [Medium: Success] – Which makes him strikingly different from the aristocratic Vernon, who would never stoop to crude peasant brawling. They’re unlike each other both outwardly and inwardly — perhaps that’s exactly why they find one another so unpleasant.
NARRATOR – The captain studies you calmly and attentively. For a brief moment, his gaze lingers on the medallion with its snarling wolf’s head. Meis raises one eyebrow almost imperceptibly, but the genial expression returns to his face almost at once.
UMBRA [Impossible: Failure] – He clearly recognized your guild sign, but this isn’t the usual commoner’s dislike of “mutants.” There’s something else here. For some reason, he’s on his guard.
NARRATOR – Finally releasing your hand, Vincent speaks in the tone of a gracious host welcoming long-awaited guests.
VINCENT MEIS – Thank you for honoring me with your presence, gentlemen! How may I be of service?
NARRATOR – Without a word, Vernon hands the captain a document bearing the royal seal. A similar one lies in your satchel — the very satchel you fished out of a refuse pit at the cost of what remained of your dignity.
CODEX [Challenging: Failure] – It reminds you of a legend about an ancient god who sacrificed something precious in order to obtain… Hmm. No, it’s gone. Never mind. It’s not important right now.
NARRATOR – Vincent quickly scans the lines, then carefully examines the signature and seal.
VINCENT MEIS – Oh, would you look at that! A writ signed by His Majesty himself! So you’re the very detectives assigned to investigate the case of the hanged man?
NARRATOR – Ignoring Vernon’s outstretched hand, he casually lays the document on the edge of the desk. After a brief pause, your partner carefully picks it up and puts it back into his satchel.
FORTITUDE [Easy: Success] – Vernon is clearly stung by the slight, but has no intention of showing his irritation.
VINCENT MEIS – I must admit, gentlemen, we were expecting you somewhat earlier…
NARRATOR – The captain draws the words out slowly, plainly in no hurry at all. Somehow, the room no longer feels quite so cozy.
VINCENT MEIS – About three days earlier.
ELOQUENCE [Easy: Success] – He says it quietly and gently. Almost regretfully. Like a butler forced to inform his guests that dinner has gone cold, the servants have fled, and one of the other invitees has already managed to die and is now stinking up the place.
NARRATOR – Another pause settles over the room. Vincent is clearly waiting for some reaction from your partner. Vernon stubbornly remains silent.
FORTITUDE [Easy: Success] – You should keep quiet too. There is no need to answer his poorly disguised jabs. Especially since the disguise is deliberately poor.
VINCENT MEIS – Well then, I take it this is not merely a courtesy call. What business do you have with me?
NARRATOR – The captain lowers himself back into the chair behind his broad desk, makes himself comfortable, and laces his fingers together. He does not offer either of you a seat.
VERNON ROCHE – You understand correctly. We require whatever assistance you can reasonably provide with the investigation.
NARRATOR – Vernon’s voice is remarkably colorless. He sounds as though he’s reciting lines from a role he’s long since grown tired of, all in the same dull monotone. Vincent leans back in his chair and gives Roche a charming smile, clearly expecting more.
VERNON ROCHE – At present, the victim’s body is hanging from a tree in the backyard of the Shaggy Bear Inn — though I imagine you’re perfectly well aware of that.
NARRATOR – The man behind the desk gives a slight nod, acknowledging the obvious. Vernon continues in the same detached tone.
VERNON ROCHE – Now then, the body needs to be taken down and delivered to the coroner for examination. Today. To that end, we would like you to send over a couple of your stronger guardsmen. Preferably men who will trample around the suspected crime scene as little as possible and finish the job before dark. We may require assistance with other matters later on as well.
ELOQUENCE [Easy: Success] – He isn’t having a conversation. He’s issuing instructions to an automaton, or perhaps a golem animated by some intricate spell.
VINCENT MEIS – I assure you, we have more than enough strong guardsmen — just look at good old Jethro!
NARRATOR – He gives a pleased little chuckle.
VINCENT MEIS – I’m joking. Of course, I can assign two of the younger men to the job. With a ladder and whatever other equipment they might need.
NARRATOR – The captain falls silent, but only for a moment before resuming his monologue.
VINCENT MEIS – As a matter of fact, we would have taken care of it three days ago, but we were strictly forbidden even to go near the tree, so as not to “disturb” anything.
NARRATOR – He bends two fingers on each hand, drawing imaginary quotation marks in the air.
SENSIBILITY [Challenging: Success] – Ah. There it is. You could have figured it out sooner. He’s furious because they put you on the case instead of the local keepers of the peace. In his own mind, he’s king and god of the Temple Quarter.
VINCENT MEIS – Naturally, we followed the order — and it came from the very top, if you take my meaning.
NARRATOR – The captain arches his eyebrows pointedly.
VINCENT MEIS – So we waited patiently for your imminent arrival and took no action whatsoever. We didn’t trample the ground, examine anything, or question anyone.
VERNON ROCHE – You were forbidden to investigate. I doubt you were forbidden to post a guard and keep children and looters away from the body.
VINCENT MEIS – There is no shortage of trouble in the Temple Quarter on any given day, pan Roche. I couldn’t keep half the garrison posted around every dead body for three days.
SENSIBILITY – In other words, he has no intention of taking responsibility for any of this. He’s washing his hands of it.
VINCENT MEIS – Meanwhile, the body just hung there, giving off a bit of a stink, amusing the children, attracting birds and the local rabble…
NARRATOR – He relates all this lazily and matter-of-factly, as though discussing last week’s weather. That doesn’t make any of it better.
VINCENT MEIS – From what I’ve heard, most of the clothes have already been stripped off and carried away — a real pity, since they might have served as evidence too. But there’s nothing to be done about that now… Unless you try your luck at the second-hand dealer’s. Someone may have sold him a piece or two.
NARRATOR – Now he favors you both with another smile and continues in the same confiding tone.
VINCENT MEIS – But I have no doubt that professionals such as yourselves, equipped with both the proper authority and the necessary expertise, will manage to sort everything out on your own. And we, of course, will provide whatever assistance our modest resources allow. I dare hope you’ll bring the investigation to a close as quickly as possible…
WHISPER [Easy: Success] – …and get the hell out of here while you still can.
ELOQUENCE [Challenging: Success] – Biting. If words could wound, there wouldn’t be a patch of unbroken skin left on either you or Vernon. The conclusion of this little philippic is simple enough: the guards will help take down the body and may even manage not to trample the tracks. But that is probably where their enthusiasm will end. Finding and questioning witnesses, gathering evidence, and handling the rest of the legwork will be up to you. Meis is not refusing to help outright, of course. He’s far too clever for that. But he has left only one door open to you — the one he has no right to close without angering those above him. There is nothing we can fault him for. In practice, he has told you to go to hell, along with your writ, royal seal, and special authority.
NARRATOR – Vernon, his expression still perfectly impassive, gives a curt nod.
VERNON ROCHE – Thank you. We require nothing more.
NARRATOR – Meis casually raises his right hand.
VINCENT MEIS – Excellent. I’ll give the necessary orders at once. I expect the body will be taken down without incident in less than half an hour.
NARRATOR – His grin grows even less pleasant.
VINCENT MEIS – I wish you every success, gentlemen. And… do be careful. Especially after dark. Things can get rather rough around here.
BOND OF STEEL [Challenging: Success] – Vernon chooses not to hear that last remark. Wise. He turns toward the exit and opens the door, politely letting you go first. So politely, in fact, that it becomes obvious he wants to get out of here as quickly as possible.
NARRATOR – Jethro, still loitering by the door, does his best to blend into the scenery. Your companion, however, pays him no attention whatsoever. You leave the barracks behind and head back toward the same square. For the next couple of minutes, Vernon says nothing, apparently thinking things over and drawing his conclusions. At last he turns to you and, strangely enough, offers no reproach at all, even though it is because of you that damned body was left hanging from the tree three days longer than it should have been. Quite the opposite — he speaks quietly, almost gently.
VERNON ROCHE – As I warned you, witcher: we are not welcome here. They tolerate us only because they have to.
NARRATOR – He adjusts the glove on his right hand.
VERNON ROCHE – Thank you for at least having the sense not to comment on any of that.
DOMINANCE [Impossible: Failure] – And that was a mistake! You should have put that little man in his place somehow!
YOU – How?
DOMINANCE – With dominance, obviously. It’s all in the technique.
VERNON ROCHE – Still, I don’t like any of this. Our suspicions have only been confirmed. This is not merely — or even chiefly — about the wounded pride of an ambitious guard captain…
NARRATOR – Roche casts a quick glance over his shoulder, as though checking that no one is following you.
VERNON ROCHE – We were given a very clear message: we should not remain in the Temple Quarter any longer than necessary. Nor should we go poking our noses into matters that are none of our concern — at least according to good sir Meis.
YOU – So you think he’s really involved in something?
VERNON ROCHE – That he’s involved in something is beyond doubt. The only question is what exactly…
NARRATOR – You skirt around a large puddle. Several scrawny, dirty-white chickens wander around its edge.
VERNON ROCHE – As I mentioned, Vincent Meis is most likely corrupt. In that respect, he’s no different from many other officials in this part of the city.
DIALECTIC [Challenging: Failure] – Could he himself have had something to do with the murder? Then again, what would the motive be? Money? Someone’s interests being threatened? Some kind of power struggle? He clearly isn’t pleased about your investigation, but he doesn’t seem to be trying to sabotage it outright either. He could, for instance, have secretly ordered someone to trample all over the crime scene and destroy every trace… Mutilate the body beyond recognition, then blame it on some local youths. Too many disconnected facts and hypotheses. None of it fits into a coherent picture yet.
YOU – Could he be involved in the murder somehow?
VERNON ROCHE – Frankly, I doubt it. At least, I see no reason to suspect his direct involvement at this stage. But there is only one thing I can say with any certainty: we really should watch our backs and proceed carefully. His Majesty sent only the two of us here for a reason — he wants this matter resolved quietly, without unnecessary noise or attention. As you already know, the situation here is tense enough as it is.
NARRATOR – Roche gives you a light pat on the shoulder.
BOND OF STEEL [Challenging: Success] – He’s showing that he trusts you. And reminding you that in the struggle ahead, the two of you may have no one to rely on but each other. You certainly shouldn’t expect the entire royal host to come marching to your aid.
VERNON ROCHE – Let’s return to the vacant lot and wait for them to take the body down. We need to make sure it reaches the coroner instead of being left there for those children to play with.